Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Feeted or Un-feeted
A friend mentioned pajamas recently and now I'm thinking about pajamas. I'm in one of those reorganize my life bursts where I re-arrange my office and alphabetize things and lose some bad habits and start some new ones. I don't have pajamas. But I do like the Bob Marley song "Pajamas." I'm thinking that if I get pajamas it might inspire me to make my bed every morning. Even though I live alone it will be treating myself with a little more respect and it might ripple out into each new day in unexpected positive ways. I deserve to come home to a made bed at the end of the day and think to myself, "how thoughtful the Jim of this morning was to tidy up and make the bed and lay out his pajamas for the Jim of the evening! I think I'll reward the Jim of tomorrow morning by doing all the dishes so he has a clean kitchen awaiting him. Maybe I'll even choose his outfit for the day." Like I even have "outfits." My sister Emily is an outfit evangelist. She can exponentially increase the perceived size of your wardrobe by creating combinations of garments that go "well" together. And get this. Each garment can be in many different "outfits." That's where the exponentiality comes in. I have a lot of clothes. But I usually end up wearing the same 15 or 20 garments in rotation. Sometimes I'll feel like I'm neglecting some of my clothes so I'll wear something else. Come on out Mr. Big Tall Neck with a Zipper Sweatery Shirt Thing with Ralph Lauren American flag visible when neck is fully zipped. Let's give you a day out in the world. Yes, I feel like I'm stuck in a pipe but this is a "look" I've been led to believe by my much hipper sister, the outfit diva, who gave it to me because I need "a little fashion coaching." But I just don't feel like me. I've gotten out the door and turned around to go back and change into my real clothes. The clothes that I know. That know me. They are me. I know me in those clothes. I have no idea what sorts of things sweater-neck me might say.
I was watching the TV show "The Wire" and McNulty and his partner are staking out this crook named The Greek and when the guy emerges from his house McNulty comments on the guys suit. "What's that, Hugo Boss?" His partner chuckles implying he's a charlatan and says, "Nope, it's a Luigi Borelli. You can tell by the buttons. They're brown. Wooden. Not black like most others." McNulty harumphs and say, "yeah, well, you know what they call guys that pay a lot of attention to their clothes." "Yeah," his partner says, "grown-ups."
So in my big reorganization of my external world as a distraction from my internal world...which could REALLY use some new outfits, maybe I'll even toss some expired things out rather than refrigerating them into next year. And as for the pajamas. Where do you go for something like that. Is there a pajama department within the men's department at JC Penney? Is it something I should be label-conscious about? I mean, maybe a girl will see me in these pajamas...hopefully not for very long. Do I go to Acme Surplus? That's where I get my socks. Then there's the question of feeted or unfeeted...I suppose even DE-feeted; sawed-off pajama pants.
I was watching the TV show "The Wire" and McNulty and his partner are staking out this crook named The Greek and when the guy emerges from his house McNulty comments on the guys suit. "What's that, Hugo Boss?" His partner chuckles implying he's a charlatan and says, "Nope, it's a Luigi Borelli. You can tell by the buttons. They're brown. Wooden. Not black like most others." McNulty harumphs and say, "yeah, well, you know what they call guys that pay a lot of attention to their clothes." "Yeah," his partner says, "grown-ups."
So in my big reorganization of my external world as a distraction from my internal world...which could REALLY use some new outfits, maybe I'll even toss some expired things out rather than refrigerating them into next year. And as for the pajamas. Where do you go for something like that. Is there a pajama department within the men's department at JC Penney? Is it something I should be label-conscious about? I mean, maybe a girl will see me in these pajamas...hopefully not for very long. Do I go to Acme Surplus? That's where I get my socks. Then there's the question of feeted or unfeeted...I suppose even DE-feeted; sawed-off pajama pants.
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I am happy to report that last Sunday night I transitioned the wardrobe from summer into winter. Shorts and T-shirts = under the bed, in an official “under-the-bed-box.” Sweaters and long sleeves = in the drawer. It took exactly 49 minutes and I felt a little better about myself. But then again the sock drawer and the underwear drawer did not get touched which brought me down a little. Then I started wondering why these two drawers were even full when I can never find socks or underwear in the morning. The same goes for the closet. Why is it full when I never have anything to wear? I forced myself to not think about it because I knew I would conclude that it’s a reflection of my whole life. Just glad I didn’t think about it so hard because my therapist would have picked up on it. And I’ll bet he’d try to force me to throwing away my high-school letter jacket (circa 1980) along with my fraternity shirt (1983). Hey buddy, I didn’t lose 23 consecutive wrestling matches on purpose. I’m keeping the jacket and if the socks don’t match tomorrow I’m just going to blame it on my childhood
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